I am Back. I'm Back in New York Groove

Life has taken some strange twists and turns lately.  Linsanity has left the building.  R.A. Dickey is god.  And I'm having a JANE EYRE-like awakening in this city.  Confidence is a staple of this town.  People are different here.  They walk differently with a certain swagger and at an extremely fast pace.  They talk differently with crisp accents and enthusiasm.  And most of all they act differently.  People are generally friendly and angry as shit.  I can't seem to find the middle ground.  They want different things here.  They want more.  No one is satisfied.  I know my roots were planted here, but I'm not so sure I will hang my hat here for an eternity.  This place could drive a midtown madman to the brink of sanity and make a sane man roll around in his own feces on 10th Avenue.

I grew up exactly 27 miles from New York City.  One of my best friends grew up here in TriBeCa.  My parents are from Brooklyn.  My brother went to school here, so this isn't exactly foreign territory.  I thought I knew this place oh so well, but boy did I have something coming.  I'm 31, and have been living here almost a year and although I've spent time staying in the mecca for a few months at a pop over the last decade, it has never been home.  Now, it's the only home I know.

I must say, NYC has many commendable qualities.  The food is exquisite. There is a local watering hole on every corner.  The art scene is fantastic from the MoMa to the WHITNEY to almost any gallery in Chelsea.  The JETS and METS are a stones throw away, which I love.  The architecture is astounding and the sight of wondrous design never gets old.  A sunset over the Hudson is really something else.  A rainy day day is shockingly refreshing and doesn't always require an umbrella.  It's as if the raindrops absolve you of your sins as they run down your face.  Or if it's hot and humid and smells like piss out there, you just feel like you're being tinkled on by the man upstairs.  Still, I'll take it.

People are beautiful here; way more so than LA.  Sorry Californians, it's a fact.  Maybe it's the fashion sense or the fact not everyone is tan and shirtless, but beautiful people are surely abound.  Maybe it's the models walking down the street eating hot dogs, wearing fancy shades.  Maybe it's the tightness of the clothes that makes everyone look better.  I really don't know.  What I do know is the dedication to fashion and a finding a man has me admiring the women here.  And the dedication to fashion and finding a man also has me admiring the men here.

The layout of the city is what I find most fascinating.  It's ingenious.  Unlike most other cities, the grid is perfect.  Even it's faults shout perfection.  I love the neighborhoods.  There are so many.  Anyone could find a place to live here and be happy.  I love the constant change every few years, too.  And you have to respect a neighborhood that stays the same.  Here are a few examples:
Chelsea was not pretty in the 80's.  It had the grunge of the LES.  It's now home to some of the finest galleries in the land and has extremely coveted real estate.  People want to live here.  It's gorgeous.
Hell's Kitchen, which became the old Chelsea and is now following suit to become like the new Chelsea as well.   HK is always changing.  A once rough and tumble neighborhood now has expensive condos popping up and young people with money moving in.
TriBeCa is a great place to shop, eat and now live.  I remember going to my friend's house in the 90's thinking the block he lived on was a shithole, even though the apartment was MINT.  Today, it seems like the safest block in America.
The Financial District will always be the financial district, but artists are moving there because it's cheaper.  Soon enough that neighborhood will change too.
NoLita, where the cool kids are.  Little do they know it used to be a dump.  The hipper and less snobby versions of UES women have inhabited this neighborhood faster than the Russians occupied Poland during WWII.

SOHO, always fashion forward and cool,  but very touristy.  The WEST VILLAGE is as hip and shady as ever.  The East Village isn't just home to the sketchy folks anymore since it's gentrification by way of retired frat boys and young professional women.  Oh, and don't forget the hipsters.
The grit and grunge of the LOWER EAST SIDE has remained, yet new restaurants, bars, and nightclubs pop up everyday so the wealthy bottom feeders aren't afraid to venture into the neighborhood.  This frightens the locals.  They can't lose that grit.  Don't worry, they won't.  The LES is definitely a great place to hang.  Gramercy and Murray Hill have remained constant.  Gramercy is getting better though and Murray Hill will always have the young crop of bankers and NYU grads moving right on in.

And then you have the UPPER EAST SIDE.  This place is like being on MARS in comparison to SOHO.  It's quaint, family oriented and offers a nice breeze off the East River.  It's also very quiet up there which is a nice change of pace as we all know how hard it can be to find a quiet street.  The UES used to be cool, now it's viewed as an affordable part of town for yuppies and families looking for their own niche.  People wanted to be like the uptown crowd for a long time, but the artists changed that.  They made downtown cool.  Moving into studio spaces, showing work there and frequenting night spots in the area helped with the change.  They weren't afraid to live in shady neighborhoods and that was just the beginning.  Now, uptown might as well be Jersey.  And make no mistake about it, the UES is frowned upon by all young, cool people.  The chances of you getting your friends who live downtown to come visit you are slim to none.  And as for the UPPER WEST SIDE, I don't know much about it.  I haven't spent a great deal of time over there.  Lincoln Center, the Museum of Natural History... and John Lennon... and even Nora Ephron lived there for over a decade, but she eventually moved to the UES.  And HARLEM?  The yuppies and hipsters are even moving up there.  Who knew?  There are so many more, but I would be here for days.  Anyway, what do I know?  I'm an amateur. You get the picture.

But what sticks out most is the people here are jaded.  Despite all the beauty, culture, diversity, and spark this city has worn its residents thin, quite literally.  But in turn has made their skin even thicker.  Everyone is looking for a new job, but is afraid to take one.  Everyone is looking for love, but no one wants it.  People here are scared, quite frankly terrified of being alone.  People want security, yet have none of their own.

It's strange for me to write such harsh words about a city that thrives on ambition and energy, but it's true.  There isn't any room for mistakes here.  There's no second place.  Everybody has his or her own pace and it's hard to move someone off their beaten path.  NYC is as unforgiving as they come, just like it's inhabitants.  If you say the wrong thing, you're done.  If you say the right thing, you may be done as well.  Space out for two minutes; you're done.  Finished.  I don't want to be impressive.  I just want to be me.  If you don't like it, choke on it.  I'll move at my own pace, thank you very much.

I said a while back, if you've been single long enough you become set in your ways and I meant it.  It's how I was.  Yet, I chose to break my own mold and gave it a shot.  I played a hand.  And you know what, I'm not afraid anymore.  Fuck it.  You can't win em all.  Not everybody is willing to put up with your bullshit.  And you're not willing to put up with everyone else's bullshit, but that's life JACK...and so the story goes.  New York can be the loneliest place on Earth if you let it.  So when you find somebody who's willing and able to put up with all of your shit, you push all your chips to the center of the table and go for it.  Whether in New York, Detroit, Jacksonville, or Trenton it won't matter.  But these New York women are tough, thick-skinned individuals.   But that's what makes them great, I guess.  Well that, and those awesome LuLu Lemon tights they're always wearing.  They are confident and they will fuck you up for sure if you let them.   So don't.  As for the dudes, the jury's not out just yet.

I came here for a job, one I couldn't refuse.  I came here for a girl, one I couldn't resist.  I came here to change my life, one I couldn't escape.  I came here to start over, so close to where it all began.  And where am I now you ask?  Back to SQUARE ONE.  Now go get your fucking shine box, Tommy.