I AM UNDER NO OBLIGATION...

To make the world a better place, but I'd like to think I'm TRYING.  I try to be nice to people whenever it's humanly possible.  I'm always trying to avoid conflict, whether it be in the MIDDLE EAST or in line at the IN-N-OUT Burger (which I love... surprise, surprise).  I do all I can to be PATIENT.  I try to work efficiently at my job and do the best I can everyday.  I've always tried to be a good SON and brother and feel like I've done pretty well.  At times I was a pain in the ass as a student, but I always got by and RESPECTED my teachers and elders.  This past Sunday night, I RECYCLED every last bottle of beer that was consumed in my house over the weekend.  I even paid a bill ONLINE this week to save a stamp for fuck's sake.  And when I'm in a relationship, I've tried to be an unselfish boyfriend and simply a GOOD man.

Now with all that being said, I'm not always in the right.  I've done disrespectful things.  I've JAYWALKED.  The fact that Jaywalking is illegal makes me want to SKIN a Congressman.  I've hurt people.  I've forgotten to recycle.  I've cut people off on the freeway.  I've lied.  I've stolen.  I've eaten fried chicken.  I've taken advantage of people.  I've done things for the wrong reasons.  Long story, long... I've done some things I'm not proud of.  I'm no ANGEL, nor do I claim to be.  Admitting when you're wrong is not always easy, but it's the right thing to do.  I know the world isn't all rainbows, roses, and blowjobs, but a little apology goes a long way.

I can't remember why I started writing.  It used to be therapeutic.  It used to be pure.  I used to do it for no good reason at all.  Now it has become an obsession with a way to get ahead in the world.  But get ahead how?  Financially?  Maybe.  Not likely, but possible.  Have people read your work and learn from it?  Maybe.  Influence others?  Maybe.  Again, not likely, but possible.  Honestly, I don't know why I do it.  I think I wanted to inspire others.  Perhaps I just wanted some unneeded attention.  I do know I wanted to make people laugh.  I wanted to make them cry.  I wanted to extract any emotion from the reader.  It feels good.  Most importantly I wanted to light a fire under my ass.  And I wanted to be INSPIRED again.

Somewhere along the way I lost my motor.  I lost my drive.  I lost focus.  I began questioning myself.  What am I here to do?  I came here to pursue a goal most people would call unattainable.  I say it's only out of reach if I let it get too far away from me.  For a while here, I'd let it slide.  But from now on, I refuse to SETTLE.  Settling is such a cop out.  What does that say about me if I'm letting opportunities slip right through my hands?  Not much.

After using this as a mere exercise for me to push through a case of writer's block, I believe I've finally broken through.  It's time to cut the shit, get back to work and stick to the original GAMEPLAN.  And believe me, my getting back to work will make the world a better place... and the people that surround me a lot happier.

So I will continue to strive to be as patient as a Buddhist Monk.  I will drive my roommates hybrid when he doesn't need it.  And maybe someday I will get my own.  I will try not to kill people riding bikes around town.  I will make a conscious effort to recycle more often.  I will pay my PARENTS back the $400 they let me borrow when they barely had it to give.  And I will stop buying sneakers at an exponential rate to give that 6 year old Indonesian SLAVE LABORER a break.

Apparently I've offended some people with this nonsense.  I am not apologizing for my intellectual property.  It's my writing, and all I'm doing is being honest.  Most likely it has nothing to do with you.  I'm not here to make YOU happy.  This is my thing, not yours.  If you don't want to be a part of my FREE therapy sessions, so be it.  If you'd like to tell me to go FUCK MYSELF... By all means, go for it.  The best time of the year is upon us... Fall, Football Season, and Halloween will be here before you know it... So I will take it with a grain of salt and a smile on my face.  I hope your summer was as good as mine, but I'm glad it's over.  Peace and a bottle of hair grease.