My friends are getting married... To each other. One boy, one girl. Very Traditional. Obviously an engagement party was necessary ASAP! One of my friends took the initiative to rent a LIMO BUS last Saturday, which would take us on a WINE TOUR north of Santa Barbara. At first I thought, "This will be fun, but I'm definitely going to have a headache on Sunday." I'm not much of a wine drinker... Well not on a level where I can drink it all day, but I do like to have an occasional glass while cooking or dining. Then it occurred to me, "34 people on one bus, drinking?" This was either going to be my worst nightmare or the BEST TIME EVER. Either way, I was pumped.
I was excited to learn about the origins of the wines and how they care for the grapes. The whole wine making process intrigued me. That, and the dance party that was sure to break out on this mobile nightclub. A small group of us were already hanging out in my kitchen having Bloody Marys and Mimosas by 8:30AM Saturday morning... Not me, I was drinking Ginger Ale like a sissy.
So this bus, inappropriately named HERCULES, pulls up in front of my house at 8:50AM. It's fully equipped with a monster sound system, 3 fully stocked bars, a 52 inch HDTV, and 34 raging twenty and thirty-somethings . When I stepped onto this blasphemous automobile, it was loud. People were eating, drinking and being merry like that Dave Matthews song. I knew immediately this day was going to be INSANE.
Moments later, I shoved a bagel down my throat to get a layer of carbs into my belly in order to absorb the alcohol (more carbs) I was about to consume. I kicked off the day with a few MIMOSAS. Then I followed up with a few cups of SANGRIA. Before I knew it, I was jamming on my AIR GUITAR to songs that didn't require one. This was only 20 minutes into the trip.
About 10 seconds after my VAN HALEN-like solo, the bus overheated for the first time. That's right kids, it overheated more than once. Apparently we were too heavy. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't like we were the KLUMPS or anything... There were just a bunch of skinny yuppies and creative types partying like rockstars. It was only 9:30, and people were already swinging from the rafters. It was awesome. Nobody had a care in the world. Everyone stayed positive, even though JERKULES couldn't handle us.
After a few minutes of partying by the side of the road (and by partying I'm referring to drinking and going #1 behind every bush in sight), HERCULES got her second wind. We hopped back on and off we plunged into oblivion.
Upon our arrival at the first tasting, we were feeling great. Everyone was on top of the world. The only bad thing was the bathroom on the bus. It smelled like a garbage dump on STATEN ISLAND, so we couldn't wait to get off, but even that couldn't get us down.
The first stop was in a quaint little town with various wineries lining the streets. All we did was walk in, line up at the counter, grab a glass, and taste every bottle in the house. Occasionally we would get an explanation, but I'm pretty sure most of us weren't listening. So much for the history lesson I was excited about.
Cut to five hours later... We were at our last stop having lunch in a vineyard. The refuel was necessary... For party goers and Hercules who overheated again. We had our final tasting ahead of us. The guy came out and we were cutting him off every chance we got to give toasts to the future bride and groom. Some of us were out back where they kept the barrels and mixed the wine. One of my friends even climbed into a large wine vat for a picture. Of course another friend locked him in. It was hilarious. This guy doing the explaining hated us and eventually gave up, but nobody cared.
The ride back was intense. Some people were KNOCKED OUT. I don't know how because the music was super loud and AMAZING. Some people were dancing on poles (I won't mention any names). Some people were first basing (again, no names). We needed more alcohol. We stopped at a gas station and picked up enough beer to stock SHEA STADIUM. And again... Everyone peed illegally and got back on the bus.
An hour or so later we arrived in Santa Monica. The bus pulled over at an Irish Pub on WILSHIRE. Everyone was deciding whether or not to continue this night of tomfoolery... And it wasn't even night yet. It was probably 6:30PM. Sure enough, 98% of us went into the bar. The funny thing was, we left anything we couldn't carry in (coolers, bags, food, wine glasses, cases of beer, jackets, shades) either on the bus or in the parking lot and continued the night which ended hours later at a KARAOKE bar a few blocks away. I'm pretty sure 3 or 4 dudes in our group sang "We Belong" by Pat Benatar. One of whom had his shirt off. Great night.
So do I recommend taking a wine tour with a large group of friends? Yes. Do I recommend you rent HERCULES? Yes. Should you bring your AIR GUITAR? YUP! There's nothing better than hitting the wine country with 34 of your closest friends. We made it through the day with no casualties, a ton of memorable moments, and hundreds of great pictures. I would do it every weekend if I could. If I wasn't a wine tour enthusiast before, I most certainly am now.
Congratulations go out to MIKE and TRICIA!!! That was the best (and only) engagement party I've ever attended. I love you guys!
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