I AM A STUDENT...

of LIFE.  I try to learn something new everyday.  Today I learned it costs a lot of money to fix an old CAR.  Last weekend I was a groomsman in a Catholic/Jewish wedding.  It was so JERSEY... I loved it.  There, I learned you can have a HOOPA and an ALTAR in the same place and no one will STONE the people standing before the two religious structures.  The Priest and Rabbi conducting the ceremony were a team.  They have some gig going.  They marry tons of couples like this and make a serious killing.  Genius.  Maybe I should get ordained...  On the 4th of JULY I learned that smashing tomatoes on the walls of your friend's house is NOT COOL.  And recently I learned people will say anything to hurt your feelings when they're angry with you.

Over the years I've learned a few other things... Avoid borrowing money from people at all costs.  It's a fucking nightmare.  Also avoid lending money to people.  It just turns you into and even bigger asshole than you already are.  Well, it's nice to be able to help someone out, but when times are tough it's just stupid.

Money IS the root of all evil whether you have it or not.  If you have a lot of it... people want a piece of what's yours.  If you have nothing... you envy those that have a great deal of CASHOLA.  It sucks either way, but I'm sure we'd all rather be on top than in the gutter.

What I'm learning on this long arduous journey to the top of the financial food chain (or to living in a sleeping bag on State Street up in Santa Barbara) is that it's hard to take big risks when you start at ZERO.  It tests every ounce of your being.  The constant struggle can only make you stronger, right?  I don't know.  I mean what is the reason for all of this?  Why do we want to make so much money?  To be HAPPY?  Or is it about accomplishing something great in your lifetime and doing what it is that you NEED to do?  But does money really bring happiness to your life?  I'm sure your anxiety levels drop a few notches in some areas and are raised in others.  Like...  Did you set the alarm on the front door?  Did you check the Picasso in the den before you got in bed?  Did the butler wax the Bentley?  Is the Valet going to be careful with my Porsche?  These are problems I haven't faced.  I know when I Valet my car, I throw the keys toward the Valet stand and all of the attendants DUCK.  I love that.  I'm just worried one of my keys will fall off the chain.

Since I've been in LA, I've had some highs and lows both financially and mentally.  But fuck it... All I can do is push through.  I know that this is the time of my life I'll remember the most.  I'm trying to cherish these moments while I still can.  You can learn a lot about yourself when you want something in LIFE.  Like how far you are willing to go to get it.  How hard are you willing to work?  That is the question.  Remember, there's always someone out there working harder.  That's how you have to look at it.  Otherwise the race is over.

So there's no surprising lesson here...  Except drive a new car if you can afford one.  And drive an old one if you can afford to fix it.  Otherwise be ready to get off your ass and walk.  Also you can say MAZEL TOV and crush glass in front of an altar and everyone is happy on both sides of the family.  And maybe you should make enough money so you can give it away as a gift instead of a loan... then everyone wins.  And keep this in mind... It's not really about the money.  It's about doing whatever you want to do with YOUR life.  Whatever makes YOU happy.  And finally, enjoy the the hard times because they're the most fun and apparently it's lonely at the top.  See you there.  Lonely in 2010... Who's coming with me?