I AM ALWAYS LAUGHING...

at stoplights.  I love hearing what type of music the person in the car next to me is jamming to.  It cracks me up to see people singing in their cars.  I do it.  You do it.  We ALL do it.

The best is when you stop at a light, forgetting where you are and realize someone is watching you serenade yourself.  How many of you immediately lower the volume embarrassed?  I've seen it so many times... then you flip the mirror down above your head and make it like you have something in your teeth.  You know who you are.

I get a kick out of watching a grown man in a pickup truck belting out some Coldplay.  It's sweet when you see a cute girl rocking out to some 80's hair metal or grooving to some Mary J. Blige.  By the way if this is you, I LOVE you.  Or even better, a corny white dude with glasses is rapping along with the GZA and some old school WU-TANG.  Hilarious.

I wish people people wouldn't stop at my expense.  People that possess the complete willingness to humiliate themselves are usually the most interesting.  Please continue to sing "Sweet Child of Mine" at the top of your lungs.  I feel you... and I love it.

Now, what I don't understand is when you are listening to music as loud as possible.  This can't be good for your eardrums.  The worst is when you pull up to a light and some Guido with gelled, spiked hair and gigantic sunglasses (who's probably my cousin) is listening to TECHNO at full blast.  I really don't get it.  This really chaps my ass.  Are you on Ecstasy?  Are there 12 girls in skimpy dresses in the back seat of your Camaro all sweaty from twirling around glow-sticks?  Are we in Cancun?  Is your Ed Hardy T-shirt so tight that you can't feel the electronic beats chipping away at your spine?  If I can't hear the Barry Manilow track that I'm humming along to in my car when you pull up next to me, your shit is too loud!  Use a Q-tip every once in a while to get the GEL out of your fucking ears.  This music is played at the club at 3am for one reason and one reason only... to keep you awake.  I can't find any stimulation in this type of music.

Believe me, I'm pretty open-minded (not really in this case, but I try).  I have friends that love this music.  They also love Drum and Bass.  I've gone to these shows and people are actually wearing ear plugs.  How is this fun?  I thought the musicians were supposed to be the only ones wearing ear plugs...?  Personally, I would like to keep my hearing for as long as possible.  Being drunk and deaf sounds like a sticky situation to me.  I'd just prefer to hear some Frank Sinatra or something else that I could sing along to in my CAR.  I guess I'm just an old soul.