I AM A NEW YORK JETS FAN...

and have been for as long as I can remember.  Do you know what that's like?  I doubt it.  Let me explain... and if you don't know anything about sports, or even like them, that's weird, but don't you think it's about time you did?

The Jets, historically, are a one-hit wonder and have been flirting with mediocrity ever since.  So being a JETS fan is kind of like... Hmm... Let's say you are a huge Jack Nicholson fan after his OSCAR winning performance in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and then he re-routes his career to do late night SKINEMAX flicks.  It would be hard to stick with him, right?  Unless you were a 13 year old boy with cable in your room, wondering why they keep showing that dude from Cuckoo's ASS.  Well maybe that was a bad comparison...  Maybe it's more like being an "Ace of Base" fan.  They come out with this song, "THE SIGN" (love that track by the way) and not one hit follows.  Everyone thought they would be the next ABBA; it just never happened. 

Coming from the greater New York area has not helped my confidence through the years.  The New York FOOTBALL GIANTS have won 3 Super Bowls during my lifetime and lost 1.  The JETS... 0.  The Jets haven't even been to one.  They won it long ago when being a hippy was still cool.  Needless to say, I was not alive.  And when it comes to BASEBALL, most Jets fans are METS fans, not YANKEE fans.  If you know anything about baseball, this hasn't been an easy ride either.  The Mets won the World Series once in 1986, and were later waxed by their cross town rivals in a 5 game Series in 2000.  The Yanks have been to the Series 7 times since I was born, winning on 4 of those trips.  Those fucking PINSTRIPES get you every time.

Before I was born (long before), the Jets were HOLLYWOOD.  The JETS were COOL.  They had BROADWAY Joe Namath.  This guy was the coolest alcoholic ever.  He was wearing mink coats on the sidelines and flashy shoes.  He slept with actresses and super-models.  And most importantly, he played the game with a certain SWAGGER that could not be paralleled at the time.  He predicted that the JETS would win the Super Bowl back in 1968, and they did just that.  What a MASHER.  We haven't had a Superstar at the helm, well, since last year.

Last year they did everything they could to get perennial ALL PRO and legendary Quarterback, Brett Favre, in a trade.  It looked like the best move ever at first, but it didn't pan out.  The Jets missed the playoffs, Favre retired, but I still LOVED the move.  They were willing to do anything to WIN... and win right now.

Moving on... Spring time.  The flowers are blooming.  Love is in the air.  At the end of every April there is a little event known as the NFL DRAFT.  And on draft day, I am forced to hold my breath throughout the entire first round.  This is not an easy task when you are drinking and BBQing.  The JETS struggles in this round have equalled Britney's attempts to get full custody of her kids... basically a miserable, no win situation.  Over the years the JETS passed up greats like Dan Marino and Warren Sapp for the likes of Ken O'Brien and Kyle Brady.  I bet you've never heard of the last two... well if you love the Jets you have.   

This Spring the JETS came out swinging.  They traded the kitchen sink to get a QB from USC named Mark Sanchez.  Back in the day this would have looked like an O'Brien nightmare (who wasn't that bad or great), but this guy was from USC, not UC DAVIS.    I have no idea what kind of pro player this guy will turn out to be, but honestly, I don't care.  He's a proven winner.  All I know is that they made a BALLSY move, not a STUPID one.  The last couple of years they have made some smart picks with hopes of building a team from the ground up.  They drafted Running Back Shonn Greene from IOWA in the second round after another trade and then got this 6'6, 325 lb MADMAN, Matt Slauson, from Nebraska and that was it... 3 picks.  I like what I see.

So who knows what's in store for the GANG GREEN this year; regardless, I will be sticking with them no matter what.  I won't be hating like those sadistic Philly fans (DB's, Steele, Priz).  I'm looking forward to an exciting season for the JETS and JACK NICHOLSON's next movie... let's just hope it's not on after 11pm on Cinemax.