It's tough to get a drink at the bar when two couples on each side of you (and when I say couples, I mean they just met) are exchanging DNA like they are the last two people on the island. You know they are recent acquaintances because they are proving to each other and the rest of the world that they are the best, most passionate kissers in the galaxy. This usually goes on until closing time. Then the girl makes the decision whether or not to go home with this pauper who's been pleading for a sleep over every time he comes up for air. He promises he'll be good. Yeah, okay... She doesn't want to seem like a slut even though she was just swallowing his head whole and jamming her hands down his pants in plain sight. It's a bit too late for that. And if she doesn't go home with this dude, she'll probably never see him again. What a waste of energy... on both ends.
We know these chronic first basers aren't dating or married (man I'm getting old) because if they were, the man would have his arm around her shoulder like they did in the 50's... or they would be on opposite ends of the bar like they do today. People that are dating usually give each other a peck on the lips or cheek here and there just to say, "Honey I'm still here." They know what they have. If they truly love each other, they know there is a time and a place for getting after it. They don't need to be all over each other. Let me say this, PDA is acceptable sometimes, but not ALL the time.
Have you ever made out with someone that's a bad kisser? This is terrible. If I wanted to kiss a lizard, I'd get a Kimono Dragon. Bad kissers are out there in full effect today and can been seen in a club or shopping mall near you. They need to be stopped. Can these people take a class? I sure hope so. If you're going to make out in public and I have to see it, you better be good at it cause I don't want to watch a porno in public. I want to see a Audrey Hepburn Movie.
First basing is a lost art. People make out with everyone. They should've perfected it by now. Perhaps it's because everyone is always hammered.
This world is full of kissing BANDITS. I remember in High School some of my friends never really dated anybody, but they made out with every chick they saw. Maybe if they stuck with one of these broads and taught them a thing or two they wouldn't be in the bar every Friday night looking like a frog trying to catch a fly on some DJ's face.
Making out with someone you just met doesn't leave any room for pleasure delaying. Things are always better if you can hold out for a while... just a little while, not forever. You can tell almost immediately what type of sexual partner this person is going to be by how they kiss. I guess if you're making out with someone within the first 30 minutes of meeting them, you can cancel people out quicker. This would save you a lot of time and money, so maybe it's a smart move.
You know the old saying, "You know if you're going to sleep with someone within the first 5 minutes of meeting them?" This only applies to women because it's THEIR decision. It means nothing to men because they will sleep with 95% of the women they meet, especially after a few drinks. Men usually find one girl in the bar that they can put the full court press on. They grab a beer, get in their stance and don't move for the rest of the night. Poor girls.
I feel in most cases women just give in because they think they can get rid of this dude quicker if they just give him a little taste of first base. Wrong. The guy you opened the gates for is already planning your honeymoon and giving you butterfly kisses just so he can sleep with you. You should've just told him to him to beat it. Never settle.
I guess what I'm saying here is to be more selective... And if you kiss like a BATTLE TOAD, you have a better chance of hopping into a DeLorian, heading back to 1986 to watch the METS win the World Series than coming home with me. Sorry ladies, I'm sure there are plenty of dudes that are bad first basers too... so I sympathize with you as well. Get your act together. Ah, the single life.
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