I AM UNORIGINAL...

and pissed about it, but so are you. People no longer speak their minds. People do not protest. They don't picket. They don't raise their hands in class. They don't send letters. They don't call you. They blog. "Like OMG, read my blog about my weekend with Johnny!" I'd rather slide down a slide of razor blades into a pool of alcohol.

I have friends that are famous "Bloggers". Some of them have been offered book deals, movie deals, and other paid writing gigs for beginning a silly blog about how great they are or how much they hate themselves. A few others blog to promote their art or their music. This is all fine, but for some reason it PISSES me off. I don't know why, it just does, yet I still read them and laugh my ass off while doing so. I can't figure out why I give a shit about you and your problems and successes when I have my own (just problems, not successes or I wouldn't be doing this). I have chosen this savvy media outlet to surpass my current writers block, but we'll get into that later... much later.

I've always wanted to write the great American NOVEL, but obviously I'm not that good of a writer (see above). Since I was a wee lad, I wrote in a journal documenting pieces of what seemed to be a boring life. Looking back, it was anything but that.

So allow me to introduce myself as the average Joey bag-o-donuts just wondering why? Why are we here? What are we here to do? Is Flight of the Conchords the best show ever? What is the fucking reason for all of this? Why do people hate New Jersey so much? Why am I writing this? I don't have answers for any of these questions. I used to think that I was here to work hard, make money, raise a family and drop dead. Sounds fun, right? Not so much.

One day I realized there was more to life than jogging through the neighborhood and watching "Back to The Future" every weekend. So I said fuck it and I packed my shit. To give you a little background... Once upon a time I was a TEACHER for a couple of years, which was a huge step up from the occupational stigma my parents left behind. But I do not point fingers. They are great parents that showed me the way and never tried to hold me back. Standard, hard working folks who just wanted to provide and make things a bit better for generations to follow.

With this business both you and I will be figuring out who I AM... I will piss you off and not care. I will say things that OFFEND my mother. I will write about things that push the reader away and never look back. But I will not beg, borrow or steal for readers, but I may do that for success... Or maybe I will just achieve it the HONEST way... if that's even possible. In the meantime, laugh it up... I will strive to be original like everybody else does, but understand that I am not... And one last thing, I'm not some old creepy guy... yet.